And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment just as you have heard it from the beginning - you must walk in it.
Over the last few days I’ve been letting 2 John 1:6 and Hosea 2:14 marinate in my heart.
The desert has been a bit of a recurring theme in prayer for me over the last few months and the need to keep walking, keep persevering till I reach the living water again. I was struck by the realisation the other day that we are led into the desert, into the arid lands, into the unknown - by the Holy Spirit. Just as Jesus was led into the desert, we are called out too. And in these moments we are tempted. We are preyed on. But it’s also in these moments that our thirst and need for Him grows.
Hosea 2:14 →
Therefore, I will now allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her.
Today I gave Him permission to break my heart.
During mass this afternoon, I felt an overwhelming sense of Jesus’ need to break my heart - that he wants to break this heart of stone in order for it to be realigned to him: in order for me to be released from the attachments of the world and cling to him more fully.
And I felt an even bigger sense that, oh, how he will break my heart!
So post-Eucharist/reco/praying for the Holy Father’s intentions, I sat in this cute little court yard, coffee in hand, and reflected on what I had just done. Maybe it was just the state of grace I was in (cheers to the Year of Mercy), but I don’t think I was fully aware of what I just signed up for. I had just given Jesus permission to break my heart. I mean, who gives anyone permission to break their heart??? (ok, let’s be real, we are actually so broken and do it all the time hey.)
Hosea 11:4 →
I led them with cords of human kindness, with bands of love.
Another thing I’ve been reflecting on this week: vulnerability. When we first get to know people, we get to peel off one, maybe two, layers. The more we get to know them, the more layers come off. (Insert Shrek quote: “Ogres are like onions. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers.” - classic.) Fast forward after more and more layers get peeled away and we get to see the core of this person - we get to see what they’re about: raw, unedited, no facades. But the key thing is that they need to give us permission to do it. The other must allow us to keep peeling away.
We can only knock and prod and poke so much, but if they don’t welcome us in, we’ll just be sitting outside. Even if we hate being vulnerable though, deep down every human being desires to be seen, noticed, known. We desire connection. We desire love. This is how His love manifests in our lives - through the love of those around us.
If walking in love means to let people in, to give people permission to break my heart… I might kick and scream, but sure, ok. If the One who loved me first, the King of Kings, the Author of Time, the ultimate Creator, Peace and Love itself wants to break my heart… I welcome it. If this is all part of walking in love and increasing my capacity to love others… Please Lord, break it a million times over if you need to.
Mother Teresa →
“May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in.”